mommyhood/familyhood reinvented

Each child, it is amazing!, recreates the family space, carving out an identity in the spectrum of the family which we didn't realize was needed. And, in so doing recreates all those around him/her. Like a box of crayons left out in the sun too long, the personalities of the others leave portions of themselves which can not be taken away or ever be left in it's "pure" form. I look to my oldest son as an example. Prior to my second son being born, he didn't know how to ask for affection, or socialize with others. He has since made great strides in learning how to socialize with other children, and now is learning how to communicate and be nurturing/loving/gentle from his little sister(with an intense love for all that is female and pink!) I wonder what my other children would be like had they been only children.
All of this makes me contemplate how we are moulded by each other, and how each new relationship (diversity emphasized) recreates us, making us more and more centered.
Each child has reinvented me as a person and as a mother. My little girl wants to talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, whenever she is awake enough to communicate with someone/especially me. She is only 3 months old!!! So for 1/2 an hour before she is "overstimulated" and tired, we "talk" to each other. I have never had this with the other two--they were more interested in physical acitivity/doing SOMETHING together(especially nursing). As she is awake for longer and longer periods, I hope she will not feel neglected while I do housework/food preparation etc. and am not looking at her directly...again...I think this will cause my two boys to become more balanced as they learn how to talk to her.

All of this creates a desire in me to meet new people in order to melt my crayon colors again.

Comments

sashwee said…
Wow Laura, this is so interesting. I'm going to think about this in my own family. Of course the same thing is true to a very high degree of marriage. It has a profound effect on who you are the way you develop and how you understand yourself.
8/17/2005 8:18 AM
Laura said…
both positive and negative personality traits have been shared by my husband and I...it is amazing. When I see my faults reflected back to me, it gives me pause and an incentive to change myself. With the kids, it is a constant struggle to emphasize good behavior, as any behavior good or bad is multiplied/infinately reflected like two mirrors facing each other.
9/13/2005 3:34 AM
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